Monday, May 4, 2009
Saturday, April 25, 2009
The problem is family members. The ongoing saga of my adult life- dealing with the problems of my family. The latest is that my roommate/older brother is once again unemployed. He quit his job of three weeks because he hated it. Couldn't wait until he had another one. (I do not understand that at all!) Prior to that he was unemployed for 8 mnths. I've covered 2 months of rent, but I can't do it any more. Need to find another place to live. I hate moving!
My family followed me to florida, I had a two year repreive before parent and younger brother moved down 9 years ago. The next year grandmother moved down, 4 years ago older brother moved down. Between accidents, alzeheimers, home schooling for 2 yrs and stupidity of siblings (trouble with the law), I have given too much of my time to the family. I helped raise younger brother who is 22 years younger. Helping with grandmother and parents who suffered a terrible car accident 3 years ago.
The ray of hope is in a potential job- a friend is waiting on the funding to launch a new business, the first stage is to take her training seminars on the road- we would be traveling around the country and getting people signed up for her classes. As people sign up, we would help them cultivate a "community" with other attendees in the local area. In a years time, we would then hope to have a retreat location where people could come and attend classes. There is also a part of it that is a non-profit aspect- offering specially assisted classes to the blind. I have a month of waiting before I know if the funding is going through. FINGERS CROSSED!
But I am struggling with leaving the area and not being here for the family. But, at 42 years old I need to be about my life and not theirs. I can say this, but the actual doing of this is the hard part, I don't want to see my family suffering or struggling. But the fact is that over the past 9 years I have gained so much weight and dropped my own activities in order to help everyone else. I am not a martyr, but pretty darn close! So the blue feelings threatened to overtake me, but I have such loving friends that help me enjoy life and help me see that I need to be taking care of myself!
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Thursday, April 9, 2009
I have an ongoing flirtation with Emotional Freedom Technique. I have used it to handle little ache and pains, worry, resistance to relaxation. I even recommend it to some clients to use for stress and worry. But I have never fully embraced it and really used it as a tool. Last night I remembered it and I began to wonder "What if I added EFT to my daily affirmation sessions?" So this morning I began to to the Tapping. What is EFT? The website www.emofree.com is a good place to learn more. Here is a bit more info.
In essence, EFT is an emotional version of acupuncture wherein we stimulate certain meridian points by tapping on them with our fingertips. This addresses a new cause for emotional issues (unbalanced energy meridians). Properly done, this frequently reduces the therapeutic process from months or years down to hours or minutes. And, since emotional stress can contribute to pain, disease and physical ailments, we often find that EFT provides astonishing physical relief.
- You can make enormous strides by introducing EFT into your emotional therapy process (whether you are a professional or a client). Instead of taking months or years using conventional "talk therapy," EFT often does the job for you cleanly and thoroughly in one or two sessions ... and we sometimes achieve noticeable results in a few brief rounds of EFT. We label these near-instant results as "one minute wonders."
- Once you have seen how well EFT clears out emotional debris, your next step is to notice how physical ailments start to fade. Headaches, back pains and other discomforts often tend to improve or vanish as emotional issues improve (this is the essence of Mind Body Medicine). Your vision may become clearer and everyday stress may take less toll on your system.
- Accordingly, you can apply it to just about everything. That is one of the most astonishing things about it. You use the same basic procedure for your fear of public speaking as you do for improving your golf score. You can also use it for everything from the common cold to multiple sclerosis (consult your physician, of course). Further, we have had reported successes for nearly every emotional issue on the books...including fear, trauma, depression, grief and schizophrenia. Some consider it the missing link in the pursuit of health and happiness.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
I have found a new obsession, forget food, forget everything! When I read letters-to-things.blogspot.com I roar out loud! I have even snorted. I love it! The writers are absolutely hysterical. I told a friend about it yesterday and she wants to write a letter to her toaster. It's like Sienfeld- letters about nothing.
I think I want to write a letter to the passenger seat of my car. It would be an apology letter, saying how sorry I am that I have spilled so many sodas and bottles of water on it and how it has been over run with food wrappers. I would make a vow of promise to allow it to see the light of day and even clean it up well enough that a person could actually sit in it. The passenger seat who had an identity crisis- it thought it was a garbage can. The photo here at least makes my car look good! Although when I moved back east from Omaha I traveled in a car that was slightly less packed like this!
I ate a Spicy Chicken sandwich combo from Wendy's Medium
a bowl of corn chips with salsa
three handfuls of walnuts
a large bowl of brown sugar oatmeal w/ milk (three packets)
a single serving cup of cinnamon applesauce
two huge cups of hot tea with lots of milk and sugar
No exercise, 2 minutes of affirmation review, 4 blessings for the food, no water.
I remember sharing an experience of my weekly miracle:
Right then and there the Miracle happened! Bamb! Spirit softened me, it made me take in more of what what really going on. I started to really observe this woman, here she was surrounded by day visitors to the park who were expressing their intense upset that they couldn't bring alcohol into the park and they were extremely upset that they couldn't get their drunken partying on. She was in a tiny hut without any evidence of air conditioning and there didn't seem to be anyone helping her. Compassion came into my heart. Understanding came into my mind and a smile came to my face.
When it was my turn to be served I made a quick little comment "I hope this is closer to the end of your day and not the beginning. This looks like you are managing the monkeys at the zoo." She laughed and nodded her head "Yep, that's me, chief zoo keeper." With that exchange she was very pleasant to me and our time was very pleasant and quick. Later that evening she drove by our campsite and dropped off a bundle of firewood, for free. She said she normally didn't do that, but she wanted to say "Hi!" and to thank me for being so nice. It made her day!
That could have gone so differently! I could have stayed in my demanding frame of mind and been just another person who made her day miserable and long. But I got to be an instrument of kindness and understanding. I felt fantastic for the rest of the weekend!
Why? I believe my reason for not "tuning" in to seeing daily miracles was because I spend so much time planning on how the miracle will occur, what it will look like. It's like I shop for the perfect miracle online; I plan it right down to the gift wrapping and bow! Then I sit and wait for it to be delivered. And I wait, and I wait and then I start "God doesn't love me", "I don't deserve it!" "I am all alone!" I am sitting at my own miracle-less pity party and I feel miserable and hopeless. But since I have been learning from ACIM I have realized that spirit give us daily miracles or daily miracle opportunities. They just don't come in the gift wrapped box that I thought they will come in and the angels don't decend in a pure white light to as Gods FedEx delivery staff.
I have found that most of my daily miracles are when I see/feel/know/hear/understand the alterations of my perception of my reality/beliefs. When the truth is revealed. I get these messages daily. Seriously! Daily! Miracles occur Daily! I am not the same person I was yesterday because of the Miracle I experienced yestereday! It altered my universe.
Miracles come to me in a variety of ways: in the form of a thought/ something I read/ something someone says to me/in a song I hear/ in an encounter I have with someone or something. I know when they come now, because I immediately have a sense of serenity, tranquility and/or certainty/ or I find myself laughing outloud with an "aha!" moment.
I lovingly remember another person's Miracle of the Week. The guy is a fairly young district attorney, his days are filled with criminals and dealing with the dark side of life. The mear fact that he was attending a book group studying ACIM was a miracle! He, to me, was the human persona of Eeyore from the Winnie the Pooh. Negativity oozed from him. I don't remember if he actually had a New York Bronx accent but over the years I have given him one. Just to paint the picture of him a bit more- He was at my friends store (where the class was held) and he was buying several pricy pieces of jewelry. I commented on how nice of him to be gifting someone or someones with such beautiful pieces. He said one was for his mother and the other for his secretary. I oohed and awwed and complimented him more on the sweetness of gifting his secretary and he responded "yeah, I'm thinking of firing her." Ahhhhh! That is just so funny to me! So in the class he shared his miracle: "my miracle is that I thought I hated someone one, but when I thought about it, I realized I just don't like them." (can you hear that in a thick Bronx accent?)
I was stunned! Can someones miracle really be that? But as I thought about it for a minute, I realized "What an altered state of consciousness- going from hate to dislike!" That was a HUGE life-altering Miracle!
As I work at altering my self-perception of my body and who I am; I have had the same miracle! (Just without the Bronx accent) I thought I hated my body, now I just dislike it. I think I'm closer today to loving my body than I was yesterday! What a gift from spirit! Thank you!
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
I am eating more than I usually do and eating anything I want, only doing deep breathing exercises for about 15 minutes a day. This has defied all beliefs that I have had previously. Even though I have been doing this for 8 days, there has been a thought behind the thought of "don't get yourself too excited, it's bound to be a disappointment." My safety net sabotage statement. Even with an underlying negative thought, it is still happening! I am dropping weight! So today, I am dropping the safety net and letting go.
I promised myself that I wouldn't make this blog a "countdown" chart, but I can't seem to help myself! I want to share this with the world! If it can work for me it can work for anyone!
Monday, April 6, 2009
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Today I came across a new book; Gorgeous for God is based on A Course in Miracles, and was designed to inspire you to remember that you are whole and perfect as God created you. To remember the truth (that you are not a body) takes discipline and practice. The authors blog posted the following (yeah someone who also has long posts!) Tomorrow I am going to go to my friends store, Serenity Now, and order this book.
Lesson 84 from A Course in Miracles says:
Love created me like itself.
Love holds no grievances.
There is a powerful lesson I have learned over the years, and it will transform your life 100%.
Here it is:
If you want to activate the light in your brother (or in yourself) you must respond to the light in him (or yourself) in order to ignite it.
It’s the only way!!!
What this means is that if you are trying to get your brother to change, bring out the good in him. Search for the light in him and bring that light alive. Remind him of the truth of himself. Remember, you are all powerful! You have the power to ignite a flame in every single person you see and think of. Give him a compliment. Show him his strengths. Tell him what he is doing right.
And this goes for yourself.
I was reminded of this by my good friend Tanja Seely who has an ACIM website The Light Has Come. She is an extraordinary Teacher of God - clear, practical and beautiful. Always giving. She is on facebook and now that facebook has a new set-up, you can see everyone’s comments. It’s like an open book over there - you can what everyone is writing. I started to notice how active Tanja is with spreading joy everywhere. She is lighting magnificent fires everywhere! People get happy around her. She is lighting up the world with love!
A lot of people falsely believe that criticism or correction is the best way to bring about change. But let’s look at this logically.
First of all: think about how you react when someone criticizes you. Do you expand in joy or do you shut down thinking what a failure you are?
When you point out someone’s faults (or your own), you are speaking to the darkness in them (or yourself). And the darkness responds. Light does not respond while you are speaking to darkness. The darkness simply grows deeper and darker.
You must speak to the light (in yourself and in your brother) to get the light to respond.
If you want love, give love.
If you peace, give peace.
If you want appreciation, give appreciation.
If you want Heaven, give Heaven.
If your life is hell, then you must be giving hell.
If your life is dark, you must be giving darkness.
A Course in Miracles is a mathematical certainty. 2+2=4.
When you give love, you get love.
When you give criticism, you get criticism.
When you attack, you get attack.
Someone on facebook the other day wrote “Anger is like a boomer-rang. So much so that it should be called BOOMER-ANGER.”
Knowing this, I don’t send anger out. It’s just gonna fly straight back at me and hit me square between the eyes.
Love is also a boomer-rang. You send it out and it comes right back atcha ya! And it doubles and picks up energy as it’s flying out there so that by the time it comes back to you, it’s double!! it’s triple! You send out a drop of love to your brother, and you get an ocean back.
Try this like a Science Experiment. Test it out in your life.
Love created me like itself. I cannot suffer, I cannot experience loss and I cannot die. I am not a body. I would recognize my reality.
You’re all light. You are love.
I am determined not to attack my Self today, so that I can remember Who I am.
Last night I was talking with a friend and I told her how I am learning that I avoid situations or work quickly to lessen any experience that would get my adrenalin pumping. I don't like drama. I don't like exercise. I have never had this thought before. So being the dutiful researcher that I am I started reading about adrenaline.
Adrenaline is a natural hormone that your body is constantly producing in small doses. Adrenaline is produced in the adrenal glands that are located above the kidneys. In addition to the adrenaline, another hormone very similar to it is also released from the adrenal glands. Nonadrenaline accounts for 20% of the total hormone secreted from the adrenal glands while, the more dominate adrenaline accounts for 80% of the secreted hormones. Together these hormones work to try ot prepare the body to make it more alert and ready for when extra energy and exertion is needed. Once these hormones are released from the adrenal glands and are working their way through the body several things will occur. The adrenaline is in charge of making soem of the smaller blood vessels close up while it makes the blood in the liver and the skeletal muscles wider. By making the less important blood vessels smaller, and opening up the more important blood vessles, a better blood flow is create. With this better blood flow towards the skeletal muscles and liver, the muscles and liver will be able to functin to their highest ability due to the increase in oxygen that they are receiving. Adrenaline is also responsible for the collapse of glycogen to glucose. This chemical change occurs in the liver and with this happening, the sugar level in the blood increases. The nonadrenaline constricts blood vessels too. The difference between the two is that the nonadrenaline constricts almost all the blood vessels while the adrenaline only constricts the less important ones. The two hormones work together to increase the contractions of the heart, which creates a better and stronger blood flow. Another duty in which these two hormones team up to do is increase the amounts of flowing free fatty acids. With these acids just moving free throughout the body, the body can use them anytime it needs to.
What are fatty acids? I hear the word fatty and I associate it with "bad".
Fatty acids are acids produced when fats are broken down. They are considered “good fats.” These acids are not highly soluble in water, and they can be used for energy by most types of cells. They may be monounsaturated, polyunsaturated, or saturated. They are organic, or in other words, they contain both carbon and hydrogen molecules.
Fatty acids are found in oils and other fats that make up different foods. They are an important part of a healthy diet, because the body needs them for several purposes. Fatty acids help move oxygen through the bloodstream to all parts of the body. They aid cell membrane development, strength, and function, and they are necessary for strong organs and tissue.
Fatty acids can also help keep skin healthy, help prevent early aging, and may promote weight loss by helping the body process cholesterol. More importantly, they help rid the arteries of cholesterol build up. Another purpose of fatty acids is to assist the adrenal and thyroid glands, which may also help regulate weight.
There are different types of fatty acids. You have most likely heard of certain types, such as Omega 3. Omega-3 is considered an “essential” fatty acid, as is Omega-6. There is one other, Omega-9, but this type can be readily produced by the body, while the other two types cannot.
Omega-3 and Omega-6 fatty acids are found in fish and certain plants. Since they cannot be produced in the body, they must be ingested in the form of foods or natural supplements. However, it is important to discuss all supplements with your healthcare provider before you begin taking them.
Essential fatty acids are required to retain healthy lipid levels in the blood. They are also necessary for proper clotting and regulated blood pressure. Another important function is controlling imflammation in cases of infection or injury. Essential fatty acids can also help the immune system to react properly. While we tend to think of all forms of “fats” as bad or unhealthy, it is important to realize that certain fats, namely fatty acids, are essential for optimum health.
What is Cholesterol?
Cholesterol is a soft, waxy substance found in all parts of the body. Your body makes some cholesterol, and some cholesterol comes from the food you eat.Your body needs a little bit of cholesterol to work properly. But too much cholesterol can clog your arteries and lead to heart disease
Cholesterol helps the body produce hormones, bile acid, and vitamine D. Cholesterol moves through the bloodstream to be used by all parts of the body.
I woke up this morning and got out of bed. My first thought was "how much to do I weigh?" that is a new thought. It is usually "I don't want to weigh myself!" I am down another pound.
I am having some new thoughts about food. Yesterday I went to Taco Bell and instead of ordering my usual I ordered a (single) taco and a (single) burrito. I blessed the food and I said a couple of affirmations about how the food was good for me and not fattening.
At dinner time I invited a friend over and we got Greek food. I actually didn't finish everything on my plate which is unheard of. Again I blessed the food and said a quick affirmation. I even had ice cream bar. Later on in the evening I went to the kitchen for a snack, more out of habit than real hunger, I stood in front of the fridge and nothing called to me. I ended up having a small handful of walnuts and I was satisfied. What is this? A change in perception about food? Yes indeedy my world is shifting on its axis and I am a very happy camper.
My change in perception about food and saying these affirmations is working. I found that over the past few days I have not obsessed about food. I feel like my mind is a bit more clear, not so much about internalizing but looking out and looking forward. I thought these affirmations, blessings and forgiveness actions would take more time to work, but results have been immediate. I am a very, very happy camper.