Monday, March 30, 2009

Method to the Madness

Q: What is this blog all about?
a. A weight loss blog
b. A spiritual journey blog
c. A Law of Attraction blog?
d. A whine about aches and pains blog?
e. All of above

A: E

I started this blog as a place to journal all my thoughts, feelings and day-to-day experiences because I hate journalling in notebooks. I will go through pages and pages of a notebook and cross out half of what I write as fanciful meanederings of a self-absorbed mind (in other words, complete BS). This is at least saving paper consumption. How Green of me, eh? I could have kept a private word doc. journal and be happy that it at least has spell check and a delete button, but something compelled me to start a blog.

When I am compelled to do things I have come to realize that that is when Spirit is guiding the thought and action and I had just better do it and save myself time, energy and thought that it takes to resist the message. Not that I don't resist, but after a period of time, I end up getting tired of hearing the message over and over again and it's easier to just do it. Who knew that Spirit is like a nagging mother?!

Because I try to live a life that is Spirit lead, I knew that even my weight loss journey would be "unconventional". When I look at a problem I don't just think of it from a mental/emotional/physical angle I have learned to look at it from a spiritual angle first and the others naturally fall into place.

First and foremost, I am writing this blog for me. Since I am in the "Before" stage of doing Cathleen's program I wanted to have some data for myself to look at and see where I am at before and to be able to compair it to what I will be doing "During" and then see where I am "After" the program. I didn't plan it this way, again, I was compelled to do it this way. Nag nag nag.

I have read blogs of others who are on their journeys to losing weight and they have wonderful posts about what they ate, how much they exercised, photos of themselves along the way and how they feel about their experiences and a chart recording their day to day weight loss ups and downs. I wanted to do that too! (Well, except for a full body photo- ain't no way I was ready to do that!) But nooooo. I was again compelled to do it this way. If you only knew how many posts I have started and never posted because Spirit has the final editing nay/yeah vote. Grrr! I even had the weight loss chart at the bottom of the blog and I thought that was a win for me and what I want. But nope, this morning the message was- "Take that out." Fine! Kicking and fussing as a mature adult just isn't the same as when you are a kid. Pouting doesn't even work. Maddening.

Bye Bye organized weight loss tracking chart! I have even tried to make some semblance of order to my posts, but the message has been "this will be a post that is more stream consciousness flow".

What does that even mean? "Stream consciousness flow"? Sounds all fancy and impressive. Well I don't want to go to Webster dictionary right now and get the formal definition of it, but to explain what it means to me is this...

...When I sit down to write a post I don't come with a preconceived topic to write about. I sit down and I take a moment to listen to Spirit and ask "what's the subject I will be writing about" and the first thought that comes to me is it. And after that I just start writing. I just let the words come and let them flow. Other than some minor editing, I don't change a thing. Some of the post that I have already shared, such as the posts about the ringing in my ear made me think "Really? Is this a factor in my weight loss success?" No Answer. "Okay, fine, I'll write about the ringing in my ear!" Or writing about the things I love. When I first started that post I thought, okay this is a feel nice post and I always like to be an a state of appreciation (Law of Attraction) so I can get into it. But what I didn't realize was how good I was going to feel for the rest of the day! It affected what I ate, how I talked to people, where I went, what I did. Everything. It was as if that day just GLOWED! All from a blogging post! Who Knew? Well, apparently Spirit did, but I didn't. That was one sign to me that this form of journalling will work for me if I just let it.

The one thing I feel I do have complete say of is the pictures that I select to go with the post. Spirit gave me that. What a benevolent being! Sure enough, I couldn't find a picture to go along with this post... go figure!

I hope that as I go along this journey all of this will end up making more and more sense, even to me. I look back on my posts and think "what the F*#&?!" I am just trusting Spirit that in time it will all make sense. I really do hope there is a Method to the Madness. Not that I really care, what I want is results! I want to loose weight. I want to feel healthy and I don't want to be unhappy. Period.

1 comment:

  1. I'm curious how long you have been on this journey...are you just starting formal study, have you tinkered with it awhile?

    I personally call Spirit God. I know many don't, but our journeys need to be customized to fit our own needs, and that works best for me. I guess I've been involved in this since I was about 16, so 27 years now. Wow.

    I am at the stage where I don't ask Spirit/God for guidance, I just listen. I do pray and I do meditate and I do ask questions, but very specific now. If I write something or do something in life that doesn't feel right, I know it's God telling me. I rely heavily on my intuition/gut feelings because I believe they are God-led.

    I've never read The Secret, but have believed in the Law of Attraction for many years.

    I never would have imagined that I would start a weight loss blog. I have had a homeschool blog since 2005. I use an alias there and won't be sharing that--God led. When I started this journey, I just felt it, I needed to start a blog. And so I did. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I'd put up a picure, yet I have...a few.

    I think that blogging is two-fold: we get support on our journeys that we really need, but on the other hand, we can inspire and give support. I think that's why my pictues went up I also think that's why I chose my blog title as my weight: something I would never admit to anyone.

    I do know this: I am really enjoying your blog, because you get me to stop and reflect. I am drawn to the positive blogs. I stay away from blogs that are full of whining and cheating and compaining. That is definitely God led, Law of Atraction led.

    The journey of losing weight is so much more than weight loss. For me it is very mental, cleaning the negativity, changing my negative thinking, honoring my body and spirit, reaching out to others.

    Normally I would feel compelled to delete this long diatribe, but it feels right to leave it. ;-)